Here's a link to my Rough Cut of the final project.
Author response
- What I want peer reviewers to know: this is a pretty rough essay. I think my tone varied between semi-casual and formal, so if you notice that too please let me know. I also followed a 5 paragraph form (intro, 3 body paragraphs, conclusion) which has made my paragraphs HUGE. Should I change this or is it widely known that 5 paragraphs is the convention to follow? I was always taught that 5 paragraphs was the way to go, so I stuck to that but let me know.
- Weaknesses: Like I said, I'm really unsure about how I kept the tone. I also think I may have included too much unnecessary information. Let me know if you think I should cut the final draft down!
- Strengths: I think I'm fulfilling what the final is asking of me. It's a pretty thorough reflection of how I felt as the semester progressed and what I got out of each project, then the course as a whole. I'm feeling very confident in terms of content, it's form and the amount of content where I have some worries.
I think I love Snoop Dog. Gz and Hustlas is a classic everyone should go listen to it. One of the best intros.
Hi Mariana,
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you wrote your introduction! Ir captures your personality well and outlines the major theme of your essay. I like the imagery and the explanation of the overwhelming emotions during the first week.
One suggestion that I have is to include some quotes or other sources from your work to further your explanation of the time management issues. I know in my blog posts, the panic I expressed after each project diminished. If you have similar sources like that, I think it would strengthen your reflection to add those.
Your essay flows nicely and uses the perfect tone for the assignment. I like that you focus on the external pieces of the writing process (time management, interviews, etc), but I am curious if you noticed changes in your internal writing process (content, style, what section you write first, etc)? I think that would be interesting to add if you wanted to.
Overall, I love the tone you use and the way you explain your growth throughout the different projects. Good luck with finals and revision! :)
Hey, Maria. Here is some peer review for this rough cut. Hope it helps.
ReplyDeleteHey Mariana! I think that by adding specific evidence that supports the claims made in the reflection, it will help for the readers to witness your evolution as a writer, as you explain it. The reflection should take the readers on a journey of the year and direct quotes from other projects would significantly help. I actually love how the tone isn't static throughout the entire essay, I think it helps to hold the reader's attention by changing the tone. Overall, loved the essay and how it seemed to flow so easily! Good luck with finals and I can't wait to see the finished product!
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your paper! I didn't think the semi-casual tone was a problem at all, I think it made it more relatable and I found myself agreeing with a lot of the thoughts and concerns you had. My only suggestion would be to make a shorter intro at the beginning that separates from the first paragraph. It might help the reader ease into it a it easier. Other than that, great job!